CASINO-NOS!

As we enter toddlerhood we are taught the “no-nos”.   Some examples:

  • Picking your nose:  No-no.
  • Picking your nose and eating it:  Definite No-no.
  • Opening the door to strangers:  No-no.
  • Getting into a van with a stranger  who promises you candy while he his picking his nose and eating it:  YUCK…and NO-NO!

These no-nos are important.  Very important.  But what about the no-nos we are not taught as children?  The no-nos that teach us how to thrive once we outgrow toddlerhood and transition into life’s GREAT-GRANDDADDY of NO-NOS (and quite frankly life’s practical joke)…ADULTHOOD!  As a kid, why are we not shown a credit card by our parents then slapped in the face repeatedly?  Or have flashcards that show us pictures of lottery tickets and casinos with our parents screaming in our face “NO-NO”?  Why are we not taught that the worst 4 letter word we can ever let into our lives is the D word…DEBT?  If we were taught these “no-nos” in the way I just described, would we need therapy as adults?  Absolutely, BUT we would be a lot smarter with our money so we could pay for that therapy!

Well this post is about one “no-no” and one “no-no” only:   The Casino-no.  The words “sin” and “no” are even in the word.  It should be a given to stay away from these shiny buildings.  So why can’t all of us just stay say “no-no” to those bright lights and loud machines?  For me (and probably you) it is the possibility of winning a couple hundred dollars or even several thousand bucks in mere hours and that possibility is intoxicating to me (and probably you). With no clocks to remind me of the time, reality and common sense soon leave my consciousness. The machines whispering sweet nothings to me, wishing me good luck once I stick my first $20.00 in them.  The mixture of smells from cheap cologne, perfume, cigarette smoke, and desperation fill my nostrils and I am under the casino spell.  That spell makes me spend $20.00 which turns into $40.00, and before I  know it I just lost a Benjamin Franklin, and to put it frank:  self-hatred begins.  So before I go to a casino here are a few facts I have to keep in the back of my mind (and hopefully you will do the same):

Blackjack and Craps is the best bet.  Blackjack requires extreme discipline, and Craps is very complicated.  Since I lose all reasoning at any casino I have ever visited, that loss in reasoning would also result in a lack of extreme discipline and any way to grasp a complicated game like Craps.

Sports betting…not for this gal…next.

Slots.  Ah yes, now these are my girls!  I can totally push a button repeatedly since that is all the brain power I have when I am under the casino spell.  But wait!  The odds on these machines are the worst.  Casinos make two-thirds of their profits on slots.  These machines may be slotty, but they sure don’t put out.

So, I would love to pledge that I will never go to the casino, but that is unrealistic.  Both of my grandmas, several aunts, and my momma love the casino.  It is bonding time for us ladies and it will happen in the future.

So when I go for ladies bonding time, these are my list of casi”no-nos” (maybe you can add to them or you are a better person than I and you will avoid the casino altogether):

  1. Only bring as much cash as you are willing to lose (for me that is $40.00).
  2. Never, ever, ever, I mean never bring “debbie” (debit card).
  3. Cash out if you are ahead!

I followed this list on my last trip to the casino and ended up $20.00 ahead.  I may have had the casino stench in my hair and on my clothes, but I was minus self-hatred and up $20.00.

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