Meet Orville. He is the new man in my life. A Russian Blue cat who appropriately came out of the Russian “Blue” a little over a week ago. No need to get into the “catty” details of how this lil boy now lives with me, but there are still mixed feelings about him. First off, I’m not a cat person. I am not one of those people who looks up animal youtube videos and laughs hysterically then feels the need to share them on facebook. Instead I use facebook to share hilarious one-liners that pop into my head. You want an example? Of course you do! Something that I posted this past November and I thought was deliciously witty was as follows: Is it possible to get breast implants for your back? Trying to find a way to get free back rubs on a regular basis. Hilarious, right?!?! It was so witty I thought it would get over 3,000 likes (when in actuality I only have a little over 200 facebook friends) but alas, it got 17 likes…17!!!! People post pics of a piece of pizza (tongue twister alert) and get 50 likes! I feel like I’m getting off topic. Where was I? Ah yes, not a cat person. I’m not a cat person (oh yeah I covered that). Secondly, my second biggest fear (right behind anime movies) is morphing into a crazy cat lady (CCL). The woman whose only social interactions are with her cats. The woman who makes headlines with her 100+ felines. The woman who dies childless and when the neighbors complain about the smell coming from her small, disorderly apartment, the police discover her body sans face…the cats were hungry. Every CCL starts off normal. She is pre-CCL. No cats, no Orville. These pre-CCLs also post funny one-liners on facebook that get 17 likes. Maybe these pre-CCLs start a financial blog and call it “Frugoal”. Then a pre-CCL gets her first cat and morphs into a cat lady (CL). After the first cat enters her life, the CL then acquires another kitten to keep the first one company. She transitions from a CL to a CsL (Cats Lady). Then a third kitty is introduced so the CsL can dress her three cats up a la Charlie’s Angels (full blown Crazy Cat Ladyhood has arrived). Then 3 turns into…well it really doesn’t matter after you have 3 cats, does it?
So what was the point of this post? The point was to prove that I won’t be defined by having a cat because Orville won’t be a cat. Orville will just be a dude that lives with me for free who I happen to have to feed and scoop his poop. I won’t be a CL, and if I’m not a CL I can’t possibly turn into a CCL?
To prevent me from making Orville my only social interaction tonight please leave a comment below (it doesn’t even need to be cat related), e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or tweet me @frugoal (I have two followers, following four, and have no clue how to tweet, twat or twit so it should be fun to figure out).