Why don’t people seem to understand the concept that: NO means NO?!?! Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe when I say “no” it comes across as “yes” or “I’m going to say no at first but keep asking me because I will eventually say yes”. bmnv nbwqqqqqq (grrrr…damn cat just jumped on the keyboard after I told him “No”). Alright, it must be me! I am too nice at times (well 3 out of 4 weeks each month anyway). As a child, manners were imbedded into my vocabulary (saying please too much, overthanking, and apologizing for things that aren’t even my fault are flaws of mine…seriously…I have had actually people complain about this). As an adult I now say “please”, “thanks” and “I’m so sorry” without thinking at times and kick myself afterwards pondering “Why was I being so nice in a situation that didn’t warrant it?” An example of this (which conveniently ties into this blog’s theme) is when I went dress shopping for my Grandma Barb’s wedding a few weeks ago. It must also be noted that the dates, names (except for Sears) and exact words have been changed (not to protect the identity of the innocent, but because it was a few weeks ago and I don’t remember)…I also have added slight drama to the following story so please enjoy:
A long day of shopping had resulted in my hair being askew, bags under my eyes and blisters on these weary feet of mine. But it was all worth it now that I had THE dress clenched in my hands. Making my way to the register of the wasteland that is Sears, I was happy and relieved to take my purchase home and go soak my red, sore stubs that were attached to the bottom of my legs. A woman is there at the register! Sweet relief! Very tall (I’m talking 6’3″ tall) with very short blonde hair, she is smiling at me. I smile back. She looks like a tall glass of water at the end of a 10 mile walk in the desert. She is the only one who can help me leave this wasteland so I can go home.
She says, “Cute Dress!”
I say, “Thanks.” (yes I am thanking her for commenting on a dress I haven’t even purchased yet…damn manners)
She asks, “Do you have a Sears Card?”
I respond, “No.”
She says, “You can save 10 percent on your purchase today if you sign up.”
I respond, “No thanks!” (yes I did say it cheery so the punctuation justifies an exclamation point)
She states, “There is no annual fee and you can use it anywhere.”
I say, “No thank you.” (yep just thanked her again)
She continues to ring me up, and before taking my money, “You should really get a Sears card, you can use it anywhere and there is no annual fee.”
I say, “No, thanks! You are an excellent salesperson, but I’m not interested in one today.” (Yep, thanked her…again… AND complimented her AND didn’t directly said “no” to the card)
She finally stops with the Sears card and takes my money, but only because another human emerges from nowhere and is also waiting to purchase her findings.
I know. There is not a happy ending to this story.
I COULD have told the Sears lady off when she didn’t listen to my first “no”.
I WOULD have said “Listen blondie, if a tree of a woman falls in a Sears and no one is around to hear it, does she make a sound?” Side note 1: If anyone encounters this same Sears woman, they have my full permission to use this line.
I SHOULD have said “No means no”. I have said it to my husband a million times in the bedroom, why can’t I say it in situations like this!!
COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA! Side note 2: “Coulda, woulda, shouda” is also the name of an excellent episode in season 4 of “Sex and the City” so if you haven’t seen it go check it out, but bring some tissues, it makes me cry at the end every time.
Rantings aside, I just need to be more assertive when these stores want me to open up a card with them! I need to say “NO” and mean business! Unless there is some sort of law that says it is perfectly acceptable to pepper spray a salesman that keeps harassing you. Anyone know of such a law?
I want to hear from you! Does anyone else have this problem? Or if you don’t, then what is your secret…tell me!