Valentine’s Day Deciphered

Valentine’s Day is here, and if you are in a relationship that means you will be receiving a gift or two from your honey.  The gift is great and all, but what is your sweetie really telling you this Valentine’s Day with the gift they give you?  Read on for some clarity.

Cards: 

  • Cards With Just Your Valentine’s Signature:  You are awesome as a friend but I don’t want to see you naked OR I’m just too lazy to write anything besides my name so now I definitely won’t see you naked.
  • Card With A Personalized Love Note: You are so very special to me.

Balloons:  You are just swell so let’s get silly and inhale this helium.

Chocolate:

  • Cheap Chocolate:  I hate you.
  • Expensive Chocolate:  love you.

Dinner:

  • Homemade:  I love you and let’s run the risk of food poisoning so we can have an intimate night at home.
  • Restaurant:  love you and I love food, so why not make this a really delicious threesome in public?!

Movie:

  • If You Get To Pick:  I would love to pick the movie, but I love you more.
  • If Your Valentine Picks:  I would love to pick the movie, so I will because I love me more.

Wine:  Drink up and let’s get naked before you pass out.

A stuffed animal holding a heart:  I forgot about Valentines Day until 10 minutes ago, so I picked this up at the gas station along with my 6-pack of beer AND I would really love to be single again and move back in with my Mom.

Lingerie:  I find you to be the most attractive person on this planet, now put this on so I can take it off.

Jewelry:  I am wooing the Fruit of the Looms off of you as we speak.

Flowers:

  • At Work:  I love you so much I want the whole world to know.
  • At Home:  I don’t have to tell the whole world how much I love because you already know.

Anything Not On This List:  Our love is not traditional, so why should my gift be?

Hope this gift guide helps and wishing everyone a very “love”ly Valentine’s Day!

Ang

Special thanks to Trish and Ally for helping me with ideas for this blog!  Thanks ladies!

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