Mall Adventures: Part 2 Dames and Dragons

There are many a lovelorn folks on this planet who are searching for their soulmates. When at the mall yesterday I noticed something odd. The single ladies and the single men were never in the same place. Being successful in the business of dating is a lot like being successful in any business venture: Location, location, location.

IMAG1006_1When Alexis and I decided to make our hour happier and went to happy hour, Alexis pointed out to me that there were nothing but women.  Of course these women are all strangers to me, but  I am just going to go under the assumption that some of them were there to  find a man.  Lord knows that is what I did when I was single!

Singlehood.  Ahhh, back in the day when you would get dressed up, put your face on, get your hair did, find a shirt that shows off a little cleavage, or if you are of the small breasted variety, buy a push up bra, put in some chicken giblets and then put on a low cut shirt.  Then call up your girlfriends to go out, get your drink on and find a cute boy to flirt with.  A bar is normally where I would go back in the Stone Age when I was single.  Makes sense, but in 2014 where were all the single men?

Back to the present.  Lex and I decided to walk off our happy hour cocktails at the mall,  and just feet away I found exactly where all of the men were!  IMAG1011_1Again, I don’t know any of them but I am going to assume that a few of them…oh, who the hell am kidding…that all of them were single. They were sober and having their own version of happy hour by getting their dragons out of dungeons and gathering to conjure up some magic, or…playing some sort of game that went above my cabernet-influenced head.

Hmmm, now how do we get these single guys and dolls together?

Enter Ang’s brilliant business plan idea:  Dames and Dragons.  A bar/lounge that attracts women due to the booze and dim lights and attracts men due to the fact that they can get out of their mother’s house for the night  (I kid, I kid).  Picture this:  A place that hosts game nights that mainly men play as well as a place that serves fruity cocktails that mostly women drink.  Perfect match!  I think so.

Now the first question you may be thinking to yourself, “How do we get the sober “nerdy” men to approach the drunk women?”  Easy.  Offer the ladies a discount on their alcoholic beverages if they participate in game night.   Since most ladies have no clue how these games work, the ladies have to ask the gents questions.  Now, the second question you may be thinking is “But usually nerdy guys are really impatient with novices in nerd games no matter how pretty the girl and how big the boobies, how do we get them to want to play with women?”  Solution:  Offer the fellas a discount on their soda pop and garlic fries for having a co-ed (relatives don’t count) game table at their game night.

Dames and Dragons!  Pretty brilliant, but what do you guys think?

Ang

 

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